I am a Year 7 student at Edmund Hillary School in Auckland, NZ. I am in Room 9 and my teacher is Roya. This is a place where I will share my learning. Please note that some of it will not be complete, it will be my first draft. Remember to be positive, thoughtful and helpful when you leave me a comment.
Kia ora Murray, thank you for sharing your descriptive writing. I like how you have created a peaceful mood through the adjectives and similes that you have used. Next time I suggest checking that you are using present tense the whole way through (writing as if it is happening right now). Lovely writing, well done.
Please structure your comments as follows: Positive - Something done well Thoughul - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or ask a question you want to know more about
Kia ora Murray, thank you for sharing your descriptive writing. I like how you have created a peaceful mood through the adjectives and similes that you have used. Next time I suggest checking that you are using present tense the whole way through (writing as if it is happening right now). Lovely writing, well done.
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